So, all my life (at least most of it) I have believed in one God. I studied about him since middle school and now I am an old man. I have almost entirely removed myself from his congregation, for most of my life. Now I am faced with the potential possibility that I may never make it back into a congregation. I want to believe that I can. However the reality is that I have never done his will consistently. A hedonist would say: "Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may die" Interestingly, hedonists were not the super wild and rorty. They realized that excessive partying results in hangovers and less fun in the long term. So they were somewhat moderate, but still focused on living life to the full each day.
I wonder if that should be my new attitude. The end of the world (as we know it) is coming. I expect to be blown away when it comes around. I have tried so many times to be a good church member and active in the congregation. Being there would be a far better place than where I am now. Maybe I should settle for a very distant second best. A hedonistic lifestyle.
I wanted to be a good Christian, but I just can't seem to make it.
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