The Call

Friday I was feeling anxious, moist palms, occasional shudders; all of these I experienced.  I was planning to meet with Taylor - providing myself another instance where I would treat myself to a hugely positive thing for my ego.  I was going to do something rather than buying stuff.  I wasn't sure if this was such a good idea,  but I have lots of stuff and I'm not happy.

The moment was last night.  The weekend was basically a bust (as it usually is) with me laying around the house eating and watching TV.  Sunday I kept a close eye on the clock so as not to be late and jumped in the shower on time and was out the door with time to spare.  Enroute to my exciting rendezvous I got a note from the escort saying she had made other plans, because I didn't confirm in the morning.  

Then I thought, no, I have been in constant touch with her long before today and I figured maybe she meant to send this note to someone else.  I anticipated that, any minute now, she will realize her error and send a note apologizing and I would be able to say:  "No problem:  I'm here anyway!"  So I sent a note asking about the supposed confirmation I was suppose to provide.  She responded, there was no mistake, she just threw me over again.

Of course, had I known a same day confirmation was necessary, I would have.  But I didn't and she cancelled in favor of another (probably more generous) client.  After I received the note I thought of getting off the public transport at the next stop and heading back.OK, that's it for Taylor.  Cancelled on me a second time now.  No more.  I did send a nice note suggesting that if she is so in demand, she should raise her price.  It won't affect me.  I'll not see her again.  So again, my date is a bust.  This is getting old.

So, I am just now giving some serious thought to what someone looking at this blog must be thinking about its writer, moi.  Let's see, Depressed, really depressed, thinks that formication with a professional will improve the situation (idiot.)  Way into self hate, did I mention depressed, doesn't want to fornicate with his escort !!??  Cant get a date with an escort, what???  Oh, and depressed, into God, but hates his church congregation.  They treat him like he's invisible, and that's his own fault.  Wow!  OK, I am sick, really sick.  I should go back to the doctor again.  Can I make myself place that call?  Well, not so far.