So as of the last post I was thoroughly disgusted with my recent failures, as any long term reader would realize is typical. Eating too much, not smart enough, not spiritual enough. Today I can say that yesterday was not so bad in all but a secular way. I went to church, I exercised and I ate well.
I reset my spreadsheet to track spiritual and food progress. Maybe one day I will add exercise, but I am not too worried about that. The spiritual issues are by far the most important. The food problem (I eat too much of it) is the thing that I find particularly disgusting in myself. I am nearing another peak weight. My clothes don't fit right now. This makes my appearance slovenly.
I keep trying the same solutions hoping for a different result. I did have some success with the weight problem using the spreadsheet about 18 months ago. So it isn't such a long shot. I also exercised regularly about 8 years ago. I went to meetings regularly about 12 months ago. Now I just need to put all these things together and possibly they will start to reinforce one another.
That leaves out the financial and material mess I am in. And oh by the way, it's not like the food, exercise and spiritual problems will be solved by the plans I am putting in place. More work is needed there as well. Overall it is quite a hopeless situation, but I can't just throw up my hands and stop trying. I actually tried that about 8 months ago. I figured F*ck it. I am just going to do what I want. I did quite a lot of damage to my spirituality but I just wouldn't throw over the big things. So now I am back, trying to resolve those things, and yes it is just as difficult as it always was.
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