And here I am again today. Tired as can be. I woke up at 2:40 this am and basically didn't get much sleep since then. It is like I wake up just so I can be tired during the day. I tried to get back to sleep around 4:14 PM but I just wanted to rest a bit. 'cause I knew I needed to get up in minutes.
I am discovering (again) that I can't keep going without medication. I just must have it. I can't function normally without it. I have become dependent on drugs for survival. I am bordering on dream typing as I did yesterday but I am really fighting that because I just don't have the time for it today.
And now its tomorrow. I took a sleep aid yesterday and I am continuing to find that it makes me sleep too much. Need to start cutting the pills in half. I feel much better though. I am not nearly as sleepy at work when I have taken something the night before. I really hate this.
And now it's next week. Today I was extremely sleepy again in the morning and then again in the afternoon after a light lunch. I must just do something. I want to go back to the dr but it is just so very costly. I'll do it if I have to but for not I am trying to avoid it.
Grace is coming this weekend. I can do that at well over a thousand, but then again that is a totally different motivation. Immediate gratification is hard to I wish I hadn't set this up. It is so damn costly.
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