Snoozer Post

Well hello everyone.  I hope we all  had a nice weekend.  Mine was crap as usual.  Actually even more crappy than what had become usual of late.  More nrop and the natural activity that follows.  I hadn't done that in months and now I did it twice this weekend.

The only good thing is that now I'm not jonesing for provider poon any more.  I rode in on the train and read the text and the Society's Comments and the related Wt. article all before reaching Ballston station.  It's hard to call that a silver lining.  Somehow that phrase still doesn't fit.

So I only have two appointments set up.  1 with a real provider for dinner and cuddling for a grand.  Another for an overnight cuddle session for .6K.  Add dinner and a hotel and that comes to a cool 2G.  The fun starts this weekend when my favorite snuggle buddy is back in town.  I actually started cleaning the place up in preparation for the event.

One of my robovacs isn't working anymore.  I am going to toss it.  I'm tired of messing with it.  I already bought another one.

Break

Significant excrapadatiatory event yesterday afternoon.  I ate that really good food from 2 Half Foods on Monday.  It was a full 10 USD worth.  Man it was good.  Then I went to the grocery store and bought pepperoni and Triscet Crackers and ate 8 servings consisting of a cracker, 2 slices of pepperoni and a small block of Havarti cheese.  Really good but man I was pushing the envelope there.  I will pay for that mistake.

This morning is pretty uneventful.  I finished my Performance Review feedback yesterday, so that's done.  I came up with a better way to record weekly events to make doing the next review even easier.  I just hate doing that stuff but having the work from last year where I weekly recorded any significant positive events was super helpful in making it easier to fill out.  It only took a bout 3 hours for me to get it done.

I am losing the fight to control my weight these days.  I just can't seem to stop myself from excessive eating.  I have stopped losing weight and have started to gain again.  So of course, I hate myself even more now.  I wonder if self hate is really cumulative.  It seems like I keep finding reasons to hate myself more and more but it hasn't yet resulted in suicidal action.  Yea I think about it often but not all the time.  I have elected to purchase neither a firearm nor tanks of helium.  I guess there is a steady though undersized relief valve in my mind known as time.  I guess it works that way for most people.

I just picked up 12 USD worth of lunch from 2 half foods buffet.  I'm not that hungry.  I need to begin to exercise more restraint.  I decided to scoop up only about half of into a separate bowl for lunch today and save the rest for later (like tomorrow, not for dinner, or worse still, a mid-afternoon "snack" which in all rights would be a meal.

My new boss totally caved in a fight with operations and contracts over a project to compensate for the deprecation of functionality in a base platform used for development of the application.

Break,

So I ended up having to do my own performance review write up yesterday.  It took a couple of hours to write and then another to proofread.  Nice opportunity though.  I'm glad it worked out that way.

I really need to leave early today.  I'm finding that working late is such a drag on my psyche.  I hope to get out not later than 3:30.   I have a lot of house work to do to get ready for my house guest this weekend.  Mostly cleaning and straightening, some laundry and oh, yea -- I have to make the  bed.

I decided to go ahead and work until 6:00 pm today.  I did take off at 4:30 on Monday and I will need to leave early (3:30 SHARP) on Friday to p/u my shirts and the pillow shams I also had cleaned.  I am holding to the pattern of announcing my absence whenever I am out during business hours in a last ditch effort to maintain some semblance of respect for my employer and of the need to put in a full day's work. 

Break

So my libido is in high gear and I am practically foaming at the mouth for trim these days.  I'm finding that a lot of providers are aa averse.  I'm going to stop talking about that when talking to basic level providers.  (Read Fee of 500 cents or less.)  I haven't ever been rejected on sight.  But it is clearly becoming an issue if I bring it up before the meeting.  I should keep it in mind and continue to use it as a way to push off a meeting I don't want.  I'm starting to wonder if I don't make these requests just as a way to interact with someone.  Just to text them back and forth and add some excitement to an otherwise dull day. As thoughtful readers may remember, I have on multiple occasions set up arrangements and then regret it later and find myself more unhappy after things are set up.  That could be why I suppose.  It seems as though there should be someone that is willing to talk with me, or that I can pay to talk with me, that doesn't include activities God condemns.  Well that's what cuddlists are, but they are few and far between.  They are also prone to take long vacations. 

I can't believe how horny I am right now.  I forgot what this felt like.  Must keep kerchief at the ready to keep my co-workers from thinking I have rabies (oblique reference to foaming at the mouth for those of you readers who, like me, are a bit slow on the  uptake.)