Convention's Aftermath

So I went to the International Convention this weekend.  And looked at nrop on Monday night.  What a stupid piece of refuse I am.  Soak in HS, then splash around in Satan's pig pen.  You're never going to come clean dude.  I can wash off and change clothes, but then the dirt just soaks my clothes from the inside out.

According to the convention I need to:

1. Read More
2. Pray More (as much as is necessary to stop feeling anxious.)
3. Look up what is already written about my problems and try to apply that,
4. Stop feeling sorry for myself, wash my face and help others

Then I have this date with Kyra.  I'm not as worried about that, These things never work out.  It was rare that it did the one time with.  It won't be long before I see that look that tells me she is feeling sorry for me to be followed soon by impatience as the second hand crawls around the dial in silence.

There is the Speed Dating thing this weekend, Actually, that's probably the real trap.  I'll stay away from that.  First smart move I've made since "coming back" from the Convention.  I figure that even if it doesn't go awful with Kyra, it won't go so well that I would be willing to plunk down another grand to see her again for another 2 hour dinner date.  (not including dinner, drinks, gift plus tip.)

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I can't seem to get out of it.  I clearly need a generous application of number 1.  I am trapped so tightly I just can't move one way or the other.  This trap I am in is so diabolical that there must have been an intelligent but  Machiavellian entity that devised it.  I need God's help but I won't ask for it.  My prayers are not being heard -- I believe.