You fools, you idiots, aw you imbeciles. (Cruella DeVille: character in Disney's 101 Dalmatians) I feel like those words should be addressed to me personally. It's a bad time to be me right now. I am unable to make progress on my diet, my spirituality or my work. I need medication management but won't find a physician willing to offer it.
I realized that Satan is behind the rift between me and the congregation. I wish I could throw off the bias I feel against the censorship committee and those who are/were on it. I wish I could undo the rude things I did and focus on being a nicer person no matter how I feel wronged. I wish I could just see that it is me that is wrong, not them. I wish I did not feel the jealousy I do. I wish I was not bothered by the joy they feel and by hearing their expressions thereof.
Then I need to get off my posterior and do what it is that God requires of me. Now, just how am I gonna do that??? The only practical answer I can think of is drugs. Of course I could offer a prayer, really I would need several such. I know it works, but perhaps drugs are the answer to my prayers.
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