I wrote this in winter of 2023 but didn't publish 2024.

Well things have taken a turn for the worse.  I sort of "knew" this would happen.  I quit studying like I had been doing faithfully each day.  I don't know why.  It happened around the same time I started watching porn again.  So, obviously, I am trying to pinch off that habit again.  I also quit going to meetings for a a couple, maybe 3 weeks now.  So yea, It's bad.

It is the same old situation:  I don't feel like doing anything.  When I recognize the need to move forward on something I just can't generate the motivation to do so.  I think that when I started watching porn again regularly, God withheld his HS which meant that I faltered in doing the studying which led to lower HS.  Of course that made it more difficult to stop the Porn habit and also made it harder to get to meetings, which again limited the HS.  In short a death spiral.

3 week break

So I completely quit studying for a couple of weeks now.  I have restarted as of yesterday and today, but it is anyone's guess as to whether that continues.  

Long Break/

Well it is the new year and I started it off with a royal screw up.  Quit literally so.  I was perusing my favorite escort site and happened upon