Next Step -- Buy Something

So it takes a special sort of guy to screw up a date with an escort.  But oh well, it could have been worse, I might have gone through with it.  Part of me is glad it didn't happen, and part of me isn't (not hard to guess which part.)

So I am thinking, what next?  I considered buying stuff, always a feel-gook knee-jerk when things are  down, but the depression has taken most of the fun out of shopping.  For the price I might have spent on that escort I could get a lot of stuff.  While dampened, the depression hasn't completely stripped me of my admiration of and desire for fine watches.  Tag Heuer is my fav, but, of course, only the Grand Carrera models (read 4 grand plus.)

I look at Tag watches often and have a model picked out.  But dang, 4 Grand I just can't do it.  Then I  looked at Seiko, which I often do after looking at Tag.  Today I found this Seiko beauty:

It was 500 but that's chump change for what I was thinking about spending.  Should be here in a couple days; I hope I  like it in person as much as I did on the website.  I'm using BlueDial.  I started to order it from Amazon but these guys had it for 200 less than Amazon.

Will this make me happy?  Hell No!  Does it give me a little something to look forward to?  Yea, I suppose. 

I remember Sister Golden Hair the Lyrics of which go like this:

Well I tried to make it Sunday, but I got so damn depressed 
That I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed 
I ain't ready for the altar but I do agree there's times 
When a woman sure can be a friend of mine

This guy was so depressed he couldn't make his own wedding.  Man, that's depressed!  And that's about how I feel every day.  I buy sh*t to make me feel a little bit better, but then the feeling goes away.  The watch will make me happy briefly. It is like grasping for a hold on happiness, knowing it won't last but you grab it anyway.

What I should do is get involved with my church again.  I really did find happiness there, in serving God.  I was never devout enough though.  I would always do it for a little while and then get tripped up by something.  Often my privates.  I'm not makin' it.